Guest Post - Debra Pirsos

Posted on Friday, April 25, 2014 12:01 AM

The Whisper
by Debra L. Pirsos
Secrets you keep to yourself, about yourself, are the ones that become land mines within and as time passes, the mines get closer to the surface until the day will come where you will explode. Literally, figuratively and spiritually, we can ease the burden of our minds by being the only one who can detonate the wrath within. Secrets cause people to whisper and whispering causes unrest.
When I wrote the children’s book, Why Is Everyone Whispering?c2014  I was sitting in yet another waiting room looking around as the next person prepared to get biopsied, scanned or hear the ‘news’ that would make or break them at that moment in time.  I could feel the tension in the air, was it my own? was it there at all?  were we ‘immune’ to the sounds of cancer? I shall never know but I do know that when I wrote that book, it was from the perspective of a child, my daughter, because we were living the whisper. Something was going on, however while the intuition was strong for a young person, unless it was talked about, no one knew. As cancer took the body of a beautiful man, the spirit it could not swallow has been the force that lies within,  the  non-traditional cancer survivors; myself and my three children.
As grief took its uneasy path, I continued to swerve toward the middle of the road, balancing my love for Tom, the peace of its reality and the steps needed to allow full grace to set in. It was in my quest for more peace that I allowed the doors to fly open and find myself – the self that knew that whispering was causing a pain, holding me back and allowing the conditioned mind to become my mind. Amazingly, when someone dies, you begin to live – knowing that you really have nothing to lose if you move forward. After allowing my grief counselor to read the book,   she asked me if I was the little girl in the book! I realized at that moment in time, I was in every way,  shape and form. The true me, was trying to raise my voice to an audible level, at least the one that I could hear, reflect upon, embrace and take action to heal more than a loss but the suppression, limitations and fears I placed on myself.
Growing up around family members with special needs, alcoholism and other forms of mental illness, I was constantly wondering why everyone was whispering and not just saying what needed to be said. How helpful it would have been if someone had explained instead of expending energy on keeping it all so quiet. Thus, the poster in my pre-teen room clearly defined my distaste for secrecy, it read:  “I must be a mushroom, everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me lots of bullshit.” and I can remember it was placed directly next to a gigantic poster of stick figures ‘building a rainbow.’ The light within the dark in my mind. What truly was the bullshit – what I felt, what was going on or the fertilization I stood rooted in and grew as much as one can to survive.

So here I am 47 years later still sensing the whispers around me with a  scowl. I know, however, unless I speak my truth and others do, the soul can not heal, the life around me not move. Perhaps it is a journey, to experience the utter silence that prevails when a person dies of a cancer ravage -  left speechless, deaf,  blind and  motionless – yet the last gasp of air, a final whisper of love that was expressed for all to hear, became the catalyst of renewal. The paradox of it all.   To breathe away a life for another to live. For I now see, hear, move and give an audible voice to the whispers I endured. The whispers of alcoholism, cancer, depression, suicide, and any word a person deems not to be said out loud. We learn,  that it is not so hard after all to let those words roll and be spoken at an audible decibel.  For they are just a string of alphabet letters. Not definitions, not archetypes, not you.  In fact, to say “them” is cleansing, liberating, empowering, healing, and, in the long run, (as I whisper) quite “orgasmic” for their daily benefits. As we allow ourselves to finally hear all that has been whispered around us for years, we can finally… reflect, embrace and take action on what we need to do to get our lives back, our blocks unblocked and move forward in a positive, de-lightful path.

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Twitter:  @lifessweet2
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Loren Mathis

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